A Day in the Life of Elena
by Tyramir
Summary: Found friendless and in the company of a group of psychopaths she dares call coworkers, can Elena survive her first official day as a Turk?


Author's Note: Ayep. Still don't own the rights to Final Fantasy. Although, I did get the "orthopedic underwear" from Tifa's room that one time. I recommend you read the following fics, in this order, before this one: A Day in the Life of Rude, A Day in the Life of Tseng, and A Life in the Day of Reno. Of course, you don't have to. This is a pretty user-friendly fic, and doesn't reference the other ones all that much. This fic takes place at the beginning of Final Fantasy VII. Enjoy.

A Day in the Life of Elena

_9:22 am_

Elena opened one eye, and saw only darkness. Warm fluffy covers provided warmth, comfort and shelter one hundred times better than a mother's womb, if not a thousand. She absolutely did not want to get up, but she knew it was getting to around that time her alarm would go off, and she would have to get ready for work.

She clung to her blankets stubbornly, refusing to pull them back and check her clock. She wouldn't do it. She absolutely would not look at the clock, and be reminded of the dread of work. It wasn't that she hated her job. No. She kind of liked it. The pay was pretty good, the hours reasonable (so long as she was on reserve status), and her boss, Tseng, was pretty handsome. However, he was also cold and distant. Rude was even more distant, having barely said ten words to her, and no more than four in a row at any given time. And he always seemed to be beating her up during their hand-to-hand combat lessons. That was, when Tseng wasn't doing it for him. And then there was Reno. Reno was every woman's worst nightmare. That guy with the unbelievably handsome face, and the really nice ass, the gorgeous smile, and the perfect way with words. The way he complimented a woman, the way he knew just when to touch her, on the hand, on the shoulder, on the cheek, and just when. That guy who always said the right combination of words and promises to make you go weak in the knees. And then, his ultimate talent, the one that ruined it all, how he knew the perfect way to break your heart, and offend you in such a way that it was _you_ who broke it off with _him_, so he could walk away 'guilt free.' That was, when he didn't just tear your heart out for the fun of it. Not a single friend among her coworkers, and no one else wanted to be close to a Turk.

No, she was definitely _not_ going to pull down the blankets, glance at the clock, and see how long it was until work. No way at all. Not in a million years. Nope. … Why hadn't the alarm gone off yet? Her internal clock said it was time by now. Time to be up and ready, up and out of bed, and on her way to work. With a pout, she pulled the blankets back far enough to glance at the clock, and made a sound that suspiciously sounded like a cross between a gasp of surprise and a silent weep.

She was late for work, and she hadn't even gotten out of bed yet.

_9:57 am_

Elena, a briefcase in one hand, a coffee in the other, a pop tart between her teeth, and her suit in total disarray, burst through the door to the Turk Offices, having just performed an elaborate juggling act in order to turn the knob.

Even as she stepped in, she tripped as she crossed the threshold, coffee cup flying from her hands as she hit the ground face first. Soft carpet met her, cushioning the fall so it wasn't too painful, but her pop tart was a total loss, a mass of crumbs and broken pastry on the ground.

She'd completely forgotten about the carpet that Tseng had ordered for the offices. Before, it had just been neatly tiled floor. Now, there was the obstacle of a carpet edge to trip over once you walked in. Getting up, she made note to grab the vacuum cleaner as soon as possible after dropping her briefcase onto her desk, and to clean up the remains of the pop tart before Tseng could see it. The neat freak didn't need to see his brand new carpet already covered with junk food. Although, knowing Reno, the redheaded Turk probably already stained the maroon carpet with mustard in a few places in some sort of unannounced food fight against the invisible forces of Avalanche.

She straightened herself up, not yet lifting her eyes, concentrating on her suit and smoothing it out. And then she heard the snickering.

She looked up, her face paling.

Tseng stood directly in front of her, the front of his suit covered in coffee. His expression was frozen, a concentrated mask of neutrality. Perfect Wutaian dignity was his every feature. To the side, Rude stood, his face almost as expressionless, save for one raised eyebrow. On the other flank stood Reno, who had one hand clapped over his mouth, obviously trying and failing to contain laughter, and looking between Tseng and Elena, awaiting the culmination of the small disaster.

She felt like she was going to die of embarrassment right then and there. That was, if Tseng didn't kill her first.

"My office," he said. "Now."

Hanging her head in shame, she followed Tseng into his private office, followed by the gale of laughter that finally erupted from Reno.

The door slammed behind both of them. Elena was surprised she had closed it so firmly. But with the door closed, the laughter was cut off completely. Tseng's office was completely soundproof, among other things.

Her boss was already seated, perfectly composed, as if nothing had happened despite the coffee stain on his shirt that said otherwise.

"I'm sorry I'm late—" she blurted, and then changed her mind. "I'm sorry about the coffee, I—"

"Never mind that," Tseng said. "It's just a suit. Just made sure it never happens again. Either event. Have a seat."

He gestured her to the chair in front of his desk, a cushy looking chair that looked more like it belonged in a mansion than it did in a normal office. She sat down, careful of how she put her weight on it. She was almost afraid her own rear would somehow damage the clearly expensive chair.

"Ever since you've joined the Turks," he began, "You've been put on probationary status. The Turks are hired on by contract. Contracts that typically last for fifteen years, until you've received an injury to grievous that you can no longer continue with the job, or until you're dead. Whichever comes first. You'll be very well compensated, regardless of your method of… retirement."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because it's time for you to sign your contract." He opened a drawer, produced a sheet of paper and a pen, and carefully slid it across the desk towards her.

She looked at the simple sheet of paper, and felt sweat began to bead on her forehead. She knew she shouldn't be nervous. This was the career she had chosen, had aspired to. And yet, that contract before her represented what could possibly be the rest of her life, and it scared her.

Tseng arched an eyebrow at her, and she found herself grasping at the pen, fumbling to take the lid off. She winced at her signature when she was done. It was entirely too sloppy, and she almost found herself crossing it out and replacing it with a neater one, until she stopped herself, and forcefully put the pen down, and gave a wan smile to Tseng. He smiled back, but not a real smile. An expression that was more there to humor her, and they both knew it. Still, it was somewhat comforting.

"So… I'm a Turk now," she said, and immediately winced. _That_ sounded stupid. Of course she was a Turk. She'd been a Turk for a while now. It was just official.

"Now," Tseng said. "I have an assignment for you. One of the utmost importance. The Turks depend on you to do it dutifully and without complaint. Are you interested?"

Thrilled at the chance to do something worthwhile instead of just filing away papers all day, Elena grinned, and nodded her head furiously. "Yes, sir! Anything for the Turks, sir!"

_10:27 am_

"Hello," Elena said into the phone, "this is the Turk Offices, Elena speaking."

At first, Elena thought she was going to be excited and possibly a little scared in the face of her mission, and her importance to her team. She thought there would be life-threatening adventures, ones where she would inevitably meet a dashing hero to compliment her newfound status as the heroine, fall in love, and have passionate sex back in his expensive mansion.

She didn't expect to be sitting at a desk taking phone calls.

Yep. Elena Michaels, secretary to the Turks. Boy, did she feel like an idiot.

"Oh, well, if it isn't the Turk Trollop," a catty voice said through the other end. "So, Tseng has you answering phone calls now? Funny, I'd be expecting you to be working under a desk, not at one."

It took Elena a second to understand the implication, and when she did, she felt her cheeks heat, both in embarrassment and anger. In a very strained voice, she said, "Hello, Scarlet."

"Hello yourself, dear," the woman said in response. "Is Tseng in?"

"Nope," she lied.

"Well, do be a good little secretary and take a message for him. Recently, we decided to field test the WM-47 issue landmine on a radar tower just outside the city. Are you familiar with it?"

"No," she lied, once more. Of course she was familiar with it. Demolitions, after all, was her specialty. She'd drooled over the specs when they'd first been released.

"It's a very dangerous mine. Are you writing all this down?"

"You betcha," she said, trying to sound almost enthusiastic with her compliance, all the while only half listening. She opened a drawer and took out a nail file, and then began to work at her digits.

"Good. Even you shouldn't be able to screw that up. Now, I need Tseng to send someone down – _not_ Reno – to disarm it. We set it up on the radar before even realizing that the dish required maintenance. And now, we can't disarm the mine because we designed it _too_ perfectly. So, we need someone with some intelligence to find out how to deactivate it."

"Uh huh."

"We'll need whoever Tseng wants to send down after everyone leaves. So, three o'clock at the earliest. Do you understand?"

"Not entirely. Can you repeat that?"

"Bomb specialist. Three o'clock. Radar tower outside the city, by Sector Four. Is that too hard?"

"Not in the least," Elena said, focusing on one particularly stubborn cuticle. She might have to go get it done by a professional. And she was a full time Turk now, so she could afford it.

"Good, now, I have other things to attend—"

"Wait," Elena said, realizing that she really probably should have written that all down. Scarlet was a bitch, but Tseng _had_ given her this 'important job.' She didn't want to screw it up. "Can you repeat _all_ of that over again?"

The sound of the little growl Scarlet made was almost worth it.

_12:28 pm_

Elena was bored. She was more than bored. She was insanely bored. If there was a word to describe _how_ bored she was, it would most likely contain at least twenty-seven syllables, and could put any sane person to sleep just hearing it pronounced.

Reno, Rude and Tseng were all constantly in and out of the Turk offices throughout the course of the day. Breakfast at First Plate, their favourite restaurant. Patrols into the Slums. Talking with the executives, and having expensive lunches, all paid for on Shinra's tab. And the whole time, Elena had to wait on phone calls.

Soon, she'd get her own break. Just two more minutes. Two minutes. They shouldn't be long. Right? She ticked them away in her head, all the while trying _not_ to look at the clock. But even during her break, she'd still have to go down to the cafeteria, and sit by herself. And still be bored.

Ignoring the fact that she still had two minutes left until her break, she got up anyway, making sure to pick up her wallet and made her way to the break room.

The line wasn't so horrible – she did, after all, have a two-minute head start on everyone else – with only one person ahead of her. Still, even as she waited at the cash register with her tray filled with food, she found her mind wandering, focusing mostly on Tseng's butt.

"Phooey!" said the woman – more of a girl – in line ahead of her. Elena was broken out of her reverie, and shook her head, wondering what the exclamation had been about.

The man at the cash register, a pimply face teenager, was looking decidedly bored and not amused as once again the blond girl attempted to count out change to reach the total displayed on the cash register. She cried frantically, "I know I have enough!"

"Doesn't look like it," the punk kid responded.

"Come on!" she said. "I'm hungry, and I don't make much money as an intern. Can we just run me up a tab…?"

"Sorry, ma'am, cafeteria policy. No tabs."

"My sister's—"

"Don't care. No tabs."

"Except for Turks," Elena said, stepping forward. "Put her lunch on my tab. In addition to my own."

The girl let out a squeal, and threw herself on top of Elena. "Ohmygoshyouaresoawesome!" She released the Turk, and then said, "You have to sit with me! My name's Tiffany, but everyone calls me the Happy Les…" she trailed off, and seemed to ponder something, one finger tapping against her lower lip. "That is, everyone calls me Tiff!"

"I'm Elena," she found herself saying awkwardly, unsure of how to react to the girl's … bubbliness.

Before Elena could react, she found herself being dragged, barely grabbing her tray in time, to a table in the middle of the cafeteria. She soon found herself seated across from the girl, who was already beginning to burst forth with a tale of how exciting it was to be working as an intern and Shinra, working for Vice President Rufus no less, and how she was so lucky and she might get an actual job position once her internship was over, and was Elena really a Turk, because she'd heard really bad things about them.

Elena took it all in stride as the torrent of words, almost all strung together into one, hit her, answering where she could, having to force her comments in at other times.

Even so, Elena found herself liking the girl, despite her over-enthusiasm. There was just something about her, and having no real friends herself as it was… She just hoped something didn't ruin this one chance she had of getting someone to know and spend time with.

"Hey hey!" came Reno's voice. Elena groaned. _Tempt not the fates_, she thought to herself. She glanced over to Reno, who was walking up to her carrying a tray of food alongside Rude, and nearly gasped. His sunglasses hung haphazardly on his forehead and were badly scratched, and his face was badly bruised, with an open cut on his cheek.

"Reno, are you okay?" she asked, nearly getting up. "What happened to your face?"

He plopped his meal down on the table, turned his chair around, and straddled it. His voice took on a tone befitting a grand tale as he spoke; "There I was, patrolling Sector Three alongside my stalwart companion and heterosexual lifemate, Rude, when suddenly—"

"Without the bullshit," Elena said, her concern waning. "What happened?"

"Ninjas."

She rolled her eyes. "Rude?"

Rude paused for a moment, glancing over Reno, then Elena, and finally said, "He lost a fight with a pole."

Elena and Tiffany both burst out laughing, and Elena said. "Him, I believe. How did you--?"

But Reno growled, "It was ninjas, dammit. Corellian ninjas! Thirty of them!"

"Corel doesn't have ninjas," Elena said.

"Sure they do. Everyone knows that after the war, Wutai started up a super secret ninja training spy camp in Corel to help pay for the reparations."

"In Corel," she said flatly.

"Yeah! With all their poverty and lack of anything resembling guile, it makes perfect sense. Where _else_ would you have a super secret ninja training spy camp?"

"I don't know," Tiffany said. "Wutai?"

Reno glared at her, and then his eyes widened, as recognition seemed to kick in. "The Happy Lesbian!"

Tiffany groaned, and Elena found herself sitting up straighter. "The Happy _what?_"

"You don't know who this is? It's Tiffany, Scarlet's baby sister. You know… The Happy Lesbian!" Reno said. "Because everyone knows all _normal_ lesbians are man-hating dy--"

Reno cut off in mid-sentence with a sudden grunt of pain. She only barely registered Rude moving one leg, but wasn't sure what he'd done to shut his partner up. The bald Turk went on carving a large slab of ham that sat on his plate as if nothing had happened, but Reno balefully glared at the man.

Elena looked inquiringly at Tiffany, who shrugged, and tried to keep a far-too-innocent look in her eye.

"Anyway," Reno said, "Corellians obviously make the best ninjas because they're always covered in coal dust, right? So they're all dirty and dark, and can blend right into the shadows. And of course—"

Elena only half listened, and watched Tiffany for most of the meal, who had lost much of her outward cheerfulness, and seemed more intent on mechanically eating her meal.

The 'conversation', such as it was, continued for a few more minutes before Rude stood up, grabbed Reno by the shoulder, and dragged him from the table. All the while the red-headed Turk was still going on about Corellian ninjas. When they were gone, Elena put on a smile and said, "So, Scarlet's sister, eh? That's gotta suck."

"Josephine," Tiffany corrected. "Scarlet's our last name. And it's not that bad, she's just…."

"A bitch?"

"Yeah. But not as bad as everyone seems to think. I think I'm the only thing that keeps her human some days, but she has her moments."

Elena snorted. Yeah. Right. Scarlet, be capable of anything remotely good? The only thing she was good for was sleeping her way to the top and coming up with new things that could kill people.

"How come you're not…?" Tiff began, but stopped. "Do you want to go out some time?"

Elena blinked, and put down the tuna sandwich she had been about to bite into. She honestly hadn't expected that question, and certainly not after Reno had embarrassed the poor girl, but still…

"Yes. But just as friends, okay?"

Tiff beamed, "That's good enough for me. Long as you're not weirded out or anything. I know Josephine doesn't exactly—"

"I'm not weirded out," Elena said. "And you seem to be a fun person, and I could use the friend in this big scary place."

"Good. Now, we so have to go to a play. I hear My Bloody Valentine is playing again, and that's supposed to be really good and oh my gawd would you believe I've never seen it, and I hear the lead actress is a total babe, and I suppose the lead actor isn't bad either if you like muscle-bound, hairy-chested _guys_, and…"

She continued on for a few minutes, back to her former pace, and Elena couldn't help but grin as she listened. After they finished their meal, Tiff positively bounced as they finalized their plans.

"You have to pick me up at eight. I'll be at Make Reactor number one by then. Rufus has me going over a shipment from a train that's supposed to be coming in there tonight. I have to inventory the whole thing and it's just such a _bother_ but it's my job and hopefully I can get a paying one after this, eh? Maybe even ascend the corporate ladder without having to sacrifice my virtue, such as it is, like my sister did."

The last bit was said with a surprising amount of good humor, without any sense of bitterness at all. Elena's smiled widened, and she said, "Okay, I have to get back to work. I'll see you then."

_2:47 pm_

Elena, back at her desk, was busy entertaining herself by playing Solitaire on her computer. It was all she ever used it for, despite the fact that she was also a certified computer technician, an expert with both hardware and software. All Turks had to be. Surprisingly, the best out of them when it came down to that kind of thing was Rude, but then again, that almost made sense. Quiet, kept to himself, never got out much, needed to get laid. Just over two hundred pounds of muscle and an imposing attitude was all that kept him from being a geek.

The door opened up, quickly enough to slam into the wall, and Reno barged in, his face red with anger. Tseng followed afterwards, a calm expression on his face, although he did look over the door with an apprehensive eye.

"I won't do it!" Reno yelled.

"I don't think it's that unreas—"

"Fuck you, Tseng! I took a bullet for you once. _A godamn_ _bullet. _And this is how you repay me? With this crap?"

"That bullet you took was a ricochet that only hit you by chance."

"Don't change the subject. Elena, can you believe this asshole?"

"What?" she asked in confusion, and Tseng pulled out a small book and put it on her desk.

"The Turk handbook," the Wutaian said. "I finally published my own version of it. And in it, you'll all find that a certain dress code is expected. Namely, a _tie._"

"Fuck you and your tie, you pansy," Reno grunted. "Ties are the devil. It's a known fact. Did you know that when President Shinra takes off his tie, he likes to give to charity and read orphans bedtime stories? And what happens when he puts it on? That's right. He's busy being the President when he does."

Tseng left the room, muttering to himself that his predecessor had probably never had to deal with this kind of nonsense. A moment later, he reappeared, a green tie in hand and threw it at Reno. The redhead caught it, and gave it a complete look of disgust.

"Put it on," Tseng urged.

"Not happening."

"Put it on _now_."

"It clashes with my suit."

"I'm ordering you."

"I took a damn bullet for you once."

"And you'll take one _from_ me if you don't put it on," the Commander said as he drew his gun. Everything went still. Elena wasn't sure if the two were being serious or not, but she wanted very desperately to hide under her desk. The only reason why she didn't was because she was too scared to move.

Reno gulped. "Let's make a deal. I'll wear the tie, but I get a concession!"

"Fine. Just put the thing on. I don't care." Tseng put away his pistol while Reno wandered off into the bathroom. The Turk Commander looked at the little booklet sitting on Elena's desk, and said to her, "Memorize that as quickly as possible. But make sure you get the Turk Rules down first. There's only five of them, and I expect them to be engraved in your heart by the end of the hour."

"Hey Tseng!" Reno's voice came from the bathroom. "About rule one in this stupid manual! Tell Elena to stop leaving her tampons in the trashcan. It's a clear violation!"

Tseng made an effort to ignore the comment and turned and walked into his office, closing the door behind him. Elena tentatively picked the manual up and opened it to the first page. On it read:

1) Never let anyone see you bleed.  
2) Never question your Commander.  
3) Turks don't have friends.  
4) Shoot first, ask questions never.  
5) Never fuck with the Turks.

She read them over and over, and tried to decipher the reasons for some of them. Turks don't have friends? Now there was a self-fulfilling prophecy if she ever heard one. And… Never let anyone see you bleed? What kind of macho crap was that? Well, at least it explained Reno's remark. She wondered what was taking him so long. He only had to put on a tie, and why he had to go into the bathroom to do it…

She stood up, walked to the bathroom door, and knocked on it. "Are you okay in there? You know how to do up a tie, right? If you don't, I can do it for you."

"That's okay," Reno said as the door swung open, forcing Elena's jaw to drop. Just as she thought his idiocy wouldn't go any further…

His tie was wrapped around his face with two eyeholes cut into it, making it into a crude mask. His hair was in even more disarray than usual, and worst of all, he was naked save a pair of boots from below the waist down.

"I am Penis Man," he announced. "Defender of the Penis! I must go forth and defend the world from the enemies of the Penis!"

And with that, he ran from the room, screaming like a maniac.

Tseng's door opened up almost hesitantly, and the Turk Commander poked his head out. "Why do I feel like I just suddenly got docked a week's wages?"

_3:01 pm_

Elena found her job as secretary considerably livelier after that. Phone calls began to come in by the second with reported 'Penis Man' sightings throughout the building, demanding that the Turks do something about it. Even Heidegger himself called in, ordering them to find out who 'that masked man' was. Elena wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that their own boss didn't recognize Reno. Surprisingly, a lot of women in the building did, but not by his face. Some of those that called the Turks didn't call to complain, but to have them obtain Penis Man's phone number for them.

Tseng studiously pretended not to hear the phone calls or Elena patiently explaining to the various people that there was already someone on the case. And by 'someone on the case', she meant 'Tseng had already ordered Rude to find Reno, and kick him in the groin.' The Turk Commander was busy looking over his messages that _weren't_ from people attempting to solve the mystery of Penis Man.

"When'd this message from Scarlet come in?" Tseng asked.

"Some time this morning," Elena said.

"Hmm… We're late. Oh well. We don't have to play nice with Scarlet since we don't work for her. Okay, Elena, I'm putting you on that. I'll send Ren… Rude as your backup, just in case. Disarm the mine, and report back, and that should be your day."

"What about Reno?" she asked. "Doesn't Rude still need to catch him?"

The phone rang again, a priority ring. Elena jerked upright. That could only mean it was from one of two people. She picked it up quickly.

A cold voice spoke softly through the other end, identifying the speaker immediately as Rufus, as opposed to the more gruff President Shinra. "I have but one question for you, and every Turk's career stability depends on it as of this moment. Why is Reno running through my office, without pants, declaring that he is 'Penis Man'?"

Elena gulped, winced, and quickly blurted out the whole story. When she was done, Rufus responded, "… I see. But that doesn't explain why he's chasing my intern about my office with a samurai sword."

"Die, enemy of the penis!" Elena heard Reno call in the background. She winced again. That idiot was going to get them all fired. Or killed. Rufus was evil. Not like his father, but still evil. Who knew what he was capable of?

"I'm not sure," Elena said, "But the situation will be dealt with, uh, immediately."

She switched to another line, dialed up Rude's cell phone, and said, "He's in Rufus' office. And kick him twice for me, will you?"

_3:56 pm_

Not too long afterwards, Rude's black SUV pulled up to the radar just outside Midgar. Reno, still without pants and gagged with his tie, was bound with bungee cord in the backseat. Tseng had decided the man needed babysitting for the rest of the day, and he hadn't been prepared to deal with it.

So, all Elena had to do was disarm an impossible mine and clear the way for Shinra technicians. The blond wiped the sweat from her palms onto her pants. She didn't want to be here. She wasn't qualified for this. None of them were. For that matter, no one in the world was. The WM-47 was designed to be tamper proof.

Stepping out of the car, she saw that Rude did the same. The large man opened the back door, and said, "Are you going to behave?"

Reno made a muffled noise into his gag, which Rude took to be an agreement. The redhead was shortly untied, ungagged, and allowed to put his pants back on. With insistence that he do that last part immediately.

"Oh my swollen testicles," he groaned, after he had clothed himself.

"Serves you right," Elena countered.

Looking at the sky, Elena sighed. She could never get enough of the sun. No one who'd spent any amount of time in the Slums could, unless their time down there had made them agoraphobic.

"Took you long enough," Scarlet's voice came.

Elena let her shoulders slump, and looked to the trampy looking woman who was quickly approaching their vehicle. The woman delivered Elena a look of hatred, then turned to Rude, and was suddenly all smiles. "So, you've come to disarm my mine, I see. Well, Rude, get to it. And if you're quick enough, there might be a prize in it for you in the end."

She winked and patted his bottom. He merely raised an eyebrow at her and looked to Elena, who was smiling. The blond said through a grin, "Actually, Scarlet, Rude doesn't know that much about explosives, so I'm your man… Girl… Woman… Bomb technician… I'm here to disarm your stuff that goes boom."

"This is a joke, right?" Scarlet said, looking directly at Rude.

"If you'd like, I could always let Reno do it," Elena said.

Scarlet eyed Reno warily, who had opened up the trunk and pulled a blowtorch from it. "So… I see Shinra once more needs Penis Man to save the day. Never fear, I shall— hey, Rude, you have a rocket launcher back here! You've been holding out on me."

"Elena will be good enough." Scarlet turned and snapped at the blond Turk, "Get rid of that mine, or it'll be your career."

"Yes, ma'am."

Scarlet stormed off, got into her car, and drove away. Already, Elena was preparing herself for the procedure. She took off her coat, and threw it on the hood of Rude's car. Her tie followed it, and she began to unbutton her shirt.

"What're you doing?" Reno asked.

"Stripping," she answered.

"I can see that," he said. "And not that I mind, but… why?"

"The WM-47 mine senses heat, sound, motion, and worst of all, static. Any significant increase in _any_ of these things will set it off. If a person moving at any significant speed approaches, it'll go off. If someone makes a sound near it, it'll go off. If the temperature unexpected goes up, or if someone tries to freeze it, it'll go off."

"Okay, so what does that static thingy do?"

"Any person wearing most forms of cloth will generate static electricity when they move. So if I get near that thing wearing my suit…"

"Boom?" Reno asked.

"Boom. If you could…?"

Rude turned around, understanding her meaning. When Reno failed to comply, Rude forcefully turned him around. With those two looking the other way, she stripped down completely, removing everything. She tied back her hair with an elastic, and took only the tools she'd absolutely need.

She made her way to the door leading inside the radar tower, and slowly, ever so slowly, opened it. When it was wide enough so that she'd be able to fit through, she edged her way in, moving barely centimeters at a time.

The mine wasn't too far from the door. She saw it immediately as soon as she was in. What she also saw was something that Scarlet had omitted from what she'd told them. Lining the walls, ceiling and floor were another twelve WM-47 mines.

_5:26 pm_

Elena wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she knew it'd been a significant amount. She was glad for the air conditioning inside the building, otherwise, her body temperature would be soaring through the roof, and if that happened, a lot more of her would be soaring through the roof shortly after.

More than an hour, she knew, and she had only just managed to cross the room to the first mine. She'd been forced to move a millimeter at a time, each micro-step taken a risk that forced the mine's warning lights to go red. Green, you were safe. Red, you were in trouble. Blue… well, you never got to see the lights go blue and live to talk about it. Ever so carefully, she squatted down, moving to touch the mine's chassis. Minutes passed before she was even touching it. Even as she did, the warning lights went red. Her hand recoiled, almost too quickly, as she realized that just touching the mine had forced its temperature sensors to realize she was there. Even that feather-like touch she'd laid on it nearly killed her.

She closed her eyes, and wondered if she'd get to see 'My Bloody Valentine' with Tiff. Not that she wanted to go on a date with the woman. She didn't swing that way. But just a chance to go out and do something with a friend…

She looked down at the mine, and realized how to get rid of it and all of its compatriots in one fell swoop.

_7:13 pm_

"So, how are we going to disarm the mine from back here?" Reno asked.

The three of them had driven Rude's SUV nearly two hundred feet away from the tower after Elena had put her clothes back on, and now she was eyeing the tower warily. "If we try to disarm these mines the conventional way, we're going to get killed. All three of us, since the two of you were still in the blast zone."

"So, we disarm it how?" Reno asked.

She didn't answer him. She marched resolutely to the back of the SUV, opened up the trunk, and pulled out Rude's rocket launcher.

"Uh, what're you doing with that?" the redhead asked.

"What does it look like?" she snapped.

"Seriously," Reno said. "Tseng told you to disarm the mine. You do what I think you're doing… he won't only have your badge, he'll _kill_ you."

"Let her do it," Rude rumbled.

Elena gave a start, and he nodded his approval. She hoisted the weapon onto her shoulder – damn the thing was heavy – and took aim. She didn't even have to be extra careful. It was heat seeking, and the tower was the only major source of heat nearby. Closing her eyes, she fired.

Before the rocket even hit, she had dropped the launcher and was dialing up Tseng. The tower exploded as Tseng answered. The man bit back an oath at the sound of the explosion. Elena merely said through the cacophony, "Mission completed, sir."

_7:47 pm_

Reno, Rude and Elena were all lined up in front of Tseng's desk. The Wutaian eyed all three of them, a grim look on his face. Scarlet had demanded all three of them lose their jobs. Elena told the woman to get stuffed. Tseng had loudly proclaimed he could handle the situation.

"Explain to me again why you decided to blow the Tower," Tseng said.

"The mission was to disarm the mine, any way possible. I picked the only possible way. The pursuit of any other path would've resulted in my death."

"Unacceptable. There must have been another venue, another choice. Anything that could have been done to save the tower from its own defenses."

"No, sir. Call forth any demolitions specialist you'd like, and you'd get the same answer. There's no possible way to disarm a WM-47, never mind _thirteen_ of them in the same room together."

Tseng looked about to counter the point, when he stopped, frowned, and straightened himself out. "Did you say thirteen of them?"

"Yes, sir."

"And did Scarlet inform you there was only one?"

"Yes, sir. I had her repeat her instructions no less than three times, to be certain the information was correct." A half truth. She'd made Scarlet repeat those instructions to be a catty bitch, but Tseng didn't need to know that. "You can check the phone logs if you'd like."

"That won't be necessary. It's clear that the mission was a failure from the start, and won't stain your record. Both yourself and Rude will be paid in full for this mission, and Scarlet's department will be fined for it. You're dismissed."

Reno and Rude marched out in militaristic fashion, but Elena hesitated. "Sir, may I be frank?"

The Turk Commander raised an eyebrow at the comment, but nodded.

"Will you ever die for your job, Tseng?"

He snorted. "Be reasonable. My loyalty is to my paycheck first, then Shinra. I don't think I'll ever see anything worth dying for when it comes to Shinra."

"But I thought you loved your job."

"And I thought I said you were dismissed."

Elena nodded once, and moved to the door. She frowned. It was opened a crack. Someone hadn't shut it completely. She opened the door the rest of the way, revealing Reno who had obviously been eavesdropping. Rather than try to defend himself, the man said, "Hey, since she gets a question, I want one, too."

Tseng made a sound that was almost like an annoyed growl. "What is it?"

"Well, since you're Wutaian and all… Is it true that Wutai has a super secret ninja training spy camp in Corel?"

"Don't be a complete idiot. Of course they do. It's all in the Classified Reports cabinet, section 32-B."

"I knew it!"

_8:19 pm_

Elena hummed along to the radio as she sped across various alleyways not fit for driving through to try to get to the Number One Reactor. She was late. She knew she was. And odds were, after she picked up Tiff, the play would have already started and the tickets sold out. That was just her kind of luck. But it wasn't like she could force her way out of the office any sooner.

She almost wished some cop would try to pull her over for her speeding. Then, she could flash her Turk badge, and demand a police escort to the reactor. That would make sure she got there the fastest way possible. Unfortunately, traffic wasn't agreeing with her. She wasn't sure what was going on, but every street she tried to take towards the direction she was going was all jammed up. She hoped Tiff would forgive her.

The alleys were the only chance she had of getting there at a reasonable time, but soon, they'd end, and she'd have to switch back to the jammed up roads. Normally, she wouldn't be this assertive, this… aggressive. But after the day's events… she was almost tempted to go out on a real date with Tiff. Just because she knew that would drive Scarlet absolutely insane.

But of course, that wouldn't be fair to Tiff, and Elena was desperate to have a friend in this city. She hadn't made one since being transferred into the Turks, her old ones all quickly distancing themselves from her. When it was Reno who was a Turk, it was 'cool', and something he could use to charm the ladies. When it was someone like Elena who was a Turk, it was a reason to get away from her. Funny how the world worked like that.

She tried to push it all from her mind. She paid attention to the alleys she was driving down, and the beautiful night sky above her. She frowned, looking at it, realizing there was a plume of smoke obstructing it. Had there been some sort of car accident?

The alley gave way into a main street, and no cars could be visibly seen. Pulling out tentatively, she drove onto the road, and behind a police blockade. Even as she did, police officers flagged her down, some shouting at her to turn around. Instead, she pulled over, rolled down the window, and flashed her badge out. A police officer walked up to her, glanced at it, and blanched. Typical reaction Turks received from regular constabulary.

"There anything I can do for you, uh…" he looked at the badge again. "… Agent Michaels?"

"What's going on here?" she asked.

"You mean, you haven't heard? Reactor One just blew. Avalanche is already claiming credit. Aren't you here for…?"

Her head was swimming. She didn't hear the words she just heard. She knew she didn't. She tried to shake them from her mind, but asked, "Reactor One just blew?"

"Yeah," the man said. "Everyone, everything inside… just gone. All of it. Poor bastards. And those geo-freaks, Avalanche… if they did do this, there'll be hell to pay, eh?"

Elena nodded dumbly, and stared at the plume of smoke riding in the distance, several blocks away.

"You have any friends in there when it blew?" the man asked, noting her expression.

"No," she admitted. "Turks don't have friends."

Author's Note:

Yes, I'm a jerk. I'm a jerk for writing this. I'm a jerk because of the ending, and because of the overall message, and because I should've been working on Final Trinity instead of this. Ah well. Anyway, review please.


End file.
